Monday, December 30, 2013
Friday, December 20, 2013
Monday, December 16, 2013
You cannot keep a good person down for long..im back and in full effect and I cant wait to begin the new year...I have grown and Im excited for the possibilities to come...I want to thank every anonymous person who reads my thoughts and pain....even happy times.. I have been doing alot of contract work online..so my artistic side had to take a break
I never thought in a million years that my past would come back to haunt me... I never took the time out to heal and work on me...and because of that..I have hurt myself in so many ways..by just living and not trying to understand how my past has affected me even till now...
I am a mover, and a runner..meaning when things get tough I leave...that has been the solution for my life for the longest...people are so easy for me to leave behind because that was done to me..throughout my life...it became difficult to love and respect a man...Because I once loved my father and with the lies and abuse..came the hatred for everything that he was..and it forever defined my out look on man...I wanted to be somebody totally different then who I was because I hated me at a young age I would listen and watch certain children and I dreamed of being them and living there normal life...just to be normal...and at a young age that signaled the destruction of me and the lies I would tell to myself and others to become who I wanted to be....
I rarely talk about my father and I will only talk about him now for a few because that is all that he deserves...and it is only for the well being of myself and my future relationships with my son and my brother and man in general...I must first fix this and say my piece and properly let go...
There are things father, that only you and I know....are little adventures and your endless stream of promises..my mother never believed what I told her......but my young body and mind did...you forever violated my trust as a father and a human being and even then i forgave you and you lied and hurt me every time.. I have lived without you and will continue to do so....my only regret is you being able to live so long with the horrible things that you have done...you destroyed a family that you created and never once did you try..you easily let go without fighting..I watched you run away so many times that it became okay for me to do so as well..I forgive you now and I let go and leave you in the past and with that hurt little girl that no one cared to help...
I never thought in a million years that my past would come back to haunt me... I never took the time out to heal and work on me...and because of that..I have hurt myself in so many ways..by just living and not trying to understand how my past has affected me even till now...
I am a mover, and a runner..meaning when things get tough I leave...that has been the solution for my life for the longest...people are so easy for me to leave behind because that was done to me..throughout my life...it became difficult to love and respect a man...Because I once loved my father and with the lies and abuse..came the hatred for everything that he was..and it forever defined my out look on man...I wanted to be somebody totally different then who I was because I hated me at a young age I would listen and watch certain children and I dreamed of being them and living there normal life...just to be normal...and at a young age that signaled the destruction of me and the lies I would tell to myself and others to become who I wanted to be....
I rarely talk about my father and I will only talk about him now for a few because that is all that he deserves...and it is only for the well being of myself and my future relationships with my son and my brother and man in general...I must first fix this and say my piece and properly let go...
There are things father, that only you and I know....are little adventures and your endless stream of promises..my mother never believed what I told her......but my young body and mind did...you forever violated my trust as a father and a human being and even then i forgave you and you lied and hurt me every time.. I have lived without you and will continue to do so....my only regret is you being able to live so long with the horrible things that you have done...you destroyed a family that you created and never once did you try..you easily let go without fighting..I watched you run away so many times that it became okay for me to do so as well..I forgive you now and I let go and leave you in the past and with that hurt little girl that no one cared to help...
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
My Meaningful Beauty by Cindy Crawford review
The bottle is really cool and innovative, you can see the pictures below
The creme is light and airy feeling with a subtle and light fragrance. Now there are a couple of things that I liked the most..The packaging is good sophisticated but still girly, the price is reasonable as well especially for such a good product. There is no heavy smell and this creme seems to work with a variety of races and skin types. I have combination dry skin and I have used a wide variety of different products for skincare and within 2-3 days I felt a difference in my skin, like a tightening. i also have sensitive skin which breaks out due to harsh chemicals and this worked very well with my skin no irritation. You don't have to use this product two-three times daily only once, simple and last but not least, it took a week but yes I started to see noticeable changes in my fine lines as well as mine fine lines, I even applied on my forehead where I'm
starting to see wrinkles and it worked there also. I am not being compensated for this review this is my honest opinion and yes I would recommend this product.
http://www.meaningfulbeauty.
http://www.
Here are direct links for the product and other product reviews, I got this complimentary from influenster...Thanks
The creme is light and airy feeling with a subtle and light fragrance. Now there are a couple of things that I liked the most..The packaging is good sophisticated but still girly, the price is reasonable as well especially for such a good product. There is no heavy smell and this creme seems to work with a variety of races and skin types. I have combination dry skin and I have used a wide variety of different products for skincare and within 2-3 days I felt a difference in my skin, like a tightening. i also have sensitive skin which breaks out due to harsh chemicals and this worked very well with my skin no irritation. You don't have to use this product two-three times daily only once, simple and last but not least, it took a week but yes I started to see noticeable changes in my fine lines as well as mine fine lines, I even applied on my forehead where I'm
http://www.meaningfulbeauty.
http://www.
Here are direct links for the product and other product reviews, I got this complimentary from influenster...Thanks
Sunday, November 17, 2013
? Lost for words.....
After, the last breakup...I made a vow and a promise to myself that things would change between us...and only now can I speak the truth
Me and my brother had an intense argument..and he said things that truly hurt me and it was only because I didn't have a place to go, that I had to stand there and listen.....
Through the madness I could see that the he was hurt and so was I...but alot of the things he said were said to me before...by ex-boyfriends of mine
So, yes I am emotionally damaged but for some reason they love me.....and I was Selfish and I have trust issues, people issues as well as emotional scars that nobody will ever know..but when most of your relationships are damaged you have to start looking at yourself and I have........
There are so many things..that I could've done differently
I text my ex today.......I have been spending the past day's with stomach pains and depressed
Keeping myself busy looking and applying for jobs...but never did I stop loving or missing him..because of my past..I leave if you tell me your done..it's nothing else left to say....but when my brother and his girlfriend were discussing there problems...he stated that he hates when his girlfriend leaves and stays gone...and he expressed how it made him feel and I never thought about like that...But I suppose when your creating a family and a life...you have too stay and fight.........
Will I go back to my ex???
No.....Yes......maybe
Because I feel free...right now..like I can fix everything
or go back and change nothing.......
Me and my brother had an intense argument..and he said things that truly hurt me and it was only because I didn't have a place to go, that I had to stand there and listen.....
Through the madness I could see that the he was hurt and so was I...but alot of the things he said were said to me before...by ex-boyfriends of mine
So, yes I am emotionally damaged but for some reason they love me.....and I was Selfish and I have trust issues, people issues as well as emotional scars that nobody will ever know..but when most of your relationships are damaged you have to start looking at yourself and I have........
There are so many things..that I could've done differently
I text my ex today.......I have been spending the past day's with stomach pains and depressed
Keeping myself busy looking and applying for jobs...but never did I stop loving or missing him..because of my past..I leave if you tell me your done..it's nothing else left to say....but when my brother and his girlfriend were discussing there problems...he stated that he hates when his girlfriend leaves and stays gone...and he expressed how it made him feel and I never thought about like that...But I suppose when your creating a family and a life...you have too stay and fight.........
Will I go back to my ex???
No.....Yes......maybe
Because I feel free...right now..like I can fix everything
or go back and change nothing.......
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