Monday, April 14, 2014
Children repeat what they see...A Repeating cycle
Growing up my life started off perfect.... a father, a mother and later on a little brother but beneath those walls of perfection. The story of abuse, incest and lies on top of lies would be build up and transferred from mother to son....father to daughter...and now as I sit here and talk to my soon to be husband...pieces of my life that I forgot..memories that I thought were long go sometimes appear out of the blue...My brother and me were very close...and over time we grew apart and it is so weird that the same person he despises..is who he ultimately became...sometimes our secrets and the things that we hide from...is what we haunt you and restrict you from being happy...I will always love my brother...but he and I we forever be worlds apart..he held on to the hurt and I let it go and learned from it...
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Eye of the Tiger
I rarely have dreams..that I remeber
and even though I only remeber bits and pieces of this dream..it meant something so powerful that not only did it stick with me...the emotions that were felt during this dream were felt and remembered too. There have been many nights where I woke up in a sweat or fearful or angry.... But I am in tune with myself enough to know and understand......
When my mind and subconscious is trying to reach out to me.........the feeling was the most amazing thing ever....I woke up in my home and came downstairs like I always do. My children were right there with the tiger and they told me dont be afraid...but i still was hestitate and scared
but not in fear of my life but rather the power and size of this lion
Later I felt that the tiger would not harm me........I go back upstairs and there is an instant fear as I see my fiancee and his son approaching....the tiger instantly went to the door and prepared for attack...and that is when I woke up...I feel that the other things are just minor but the tiger is important....and who it tried to attack....that reason is sticking in my mind.........well just another day in this over thinking and crazy mind of mine....
and even though I only remeber bits and pieces of this dream..it meant something so powerful that not only did it stick with me...the emotions that were felt during this dream were felt and remembered too. There have been many nights where I woke up in a sweat or fearful or angry.... But I am in tune with myself enough to know and understand......
When my mind and subconscious is trying to reach out to me.........the feeling was the most amazing thing ever....I woke up in my home and came downstairs like I always do. My children were right there with the tiger and they told me dont be afraid...but i still was hestitate and scared
but not in fear of my life but rather the power and size of this lion
Later I felt that the tiger would not harm me........I go back upstairs and there is an instant fear as I see my fiancee and his son approaching....the tiger instantly went to the door and prepared for attack...and that is when I woke up...I feel that the other things are just minor but the tiger is important....and who it tried to attack....that reason is sticking in my mind.........well just another day in this over thinking and crazy mind of mine....
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